[ Sitting for a moment, Tseng considers his next words carefully, not really sure how to broach the subject because how does one ask their partner about something they found that was clearly meant to be hidden. Could he have left it alone and pretend he never saw the rings? Sure, but he didn't like the idea of Rufus having hidden a pair of rings in a bag of snacks to keep them away from him. He always thought they were very open in their relationship, Rufus generally never hiding anything from him or censoring himself when they're alone.
He finally makes the decision to simply pull the bag from his pocket, tossing it on to the coffee table in front of them. ]
[Rufus's stomach drops as Tseng tosses the familiar bag on the table. He had hidden them to give himself time to think of a way that he could give Tseng the ring without it seeming like a proposal.
He wasn't going to put the burden that he had carried in the future on him, it wouldn't have been fair.
But now Tseng knew that this was something that wasn't casual, that Rufus had taken the time to hide this. He hadn't wanted to lie but at the same time, he had wanted to protect Tseng.]
The rings are supposed to be able to locate each wearer- I thought it would be practical to have, just in case.
[And now came the most difficult part, explaining why he had hidden it but he knows that now he can't hold this back even though he wants to spare Tseng certain things. He doesn't look away from Tseng but he doesn't reach for his hand as much as he wants to.]
[ Tseng sighs, leaning back into the sofa, attention focused on the rings still sitting on the coffee table. He doesn't look at Rufus, not really wanting to see the look on his face given the defeated tone of his voice. ]
Rufus, do you actually think I believe that?
[ He finally takes his eyes off of the rings and looks at Rufus. ]
Why hide them if they're simply something you think is practical to have?
[This is getting to be difficult to explain and while he wishes that he could have avoided sharing this bit about the future with Tseng, not wanting to bind him to that, he's not going to be able to avoid it.]
Because I know you, even if I told you how practical the rings are you would be bound to ask certain questions about the future but I hoped with time I could figure out how to avoid that.
[This time he has to look away from Tseng for a moment to gather his thoughts, knowing Tseng can see right through him and knows him better than even he knows himself sometimes.
There are more emotions than he could possibly explain to Tseng that he's still working through, that he hasn't had a chance to start to think about but even though he knew that the rings were practical, he knew it was difficult to convince himself of that.
He looks at Tseng finally, his expression sad and regretful.]
I'm sure you can guess what I wanted to avoid telling you, I didn't want you to feel bound by what we did in the future.
[ Tseng pulls a leg up on to the sofa, shifting how he's sitting so he's facing Rufus... because this isn't a conversation he wants to be having while he's facing forward, looking at the rings laying on the table.
There's a lot to take in from what Rufus just said, a lot of implications that Tseng doesn't know if he's ready for. But it looks like he doesn't really have a choice. If they don't talk about this now, it's just putting it off for another day. Nothing is going to change how he feels about Rufus, nothing is going to take away the things they've experienced together and will experience together.
He doesn't move to take Rufus's hand, though. ]
Were we-- [ He pauses, frowning slightly ] Were we married?
[ Finally lifting his head, Tseng looks up at Rufus ]
Why did you not say anything that first night after I arrived?
[There is no denying it. It hadn't really been a joyous occasion to celebrate but circumstances meant that they had to be practical. He hadn't allowed himself to get too sentimental when Tseng had made the suggestion at the time, they had a lot to get through with making arrangements and there was always so little time.
Rufus frowns slightly, reaching out to idly scratch behind Dark Nation's ears when she sat between them.]
I put a lot on you that night. We got married only for legal purposes as it made things easier when it came to my will and other arrangements. You called the company lawyer, we signed the paperwork, and that was it.
[It wasn't a lie. While Tseng showed the lawyer out Rufus had fallen asleep since he had been exhausted so they had never even celebrated.
And then there were more important things Rufus had to finish in the little time he had left, he had put aside any personal business so that he could focus on what he needed to do.]
[ Tseng pauses, taking a breath and slowly exhaling, when he finally reaches for Rufus's hand.
This is, once again, overwhelming for Tseng. He cares for Rufus, that much is clear, but he never realized that what he may feel toward Rufus is love. He never had time to think about that sort of thing, always at work for Shinra, never letting himself think too much into how he felt and why he felt that way.
At the same time, though, Tseng doesn't think that he's ever felt love toward another person, so he's not entirely sure what that looks like. He knows that, were anything to happen to Rufus, he would be devastated. Sure, it's his job to protect him. He's Rufus's bodyguard... but their relationship is much more than that. ]
You told me you loved me as you were falling asleep. And I know it wasn't an accident. You don't say those things lightly, even if you're nearly asleep. [ A pause ] The marriage meant more to the both of us than simply a legality, did it not?
[Rufus takes his hand in his when Tseng reaches for him, not even hesitating. Affection was not something that came easy to him but with Tseng, it felt natural.
He freezes when Tseng speaks, not sure what to say for a few minutes because Tseng is right. He had told himself that he was not someone to get ridiculously sentimental over marriage or anything like that but he remembers when he had been signing the documents with the lawyer, how he had reached under the table to touch Tseng's hand as he slowly signed the document.
But that was all that he allowed himself at the time. Even though he felt more than just signing the documents, he knew that Tseng had felt the same way even if they weren't sure how to put it into words.
Rufus still hadn't fully processed those feelings yet which is why he had hidden the rings but now he can't avoid it and he has to sort these strange emotions out even if it's uncomfortable.]
It did but we never had the chance to even acknowledge that.
[He laces their fingers, looking down at them.]
I didn't think it would be anything beyond just signing the paperwork, it was a business decision. But when I put the pen to paper it did and I hadn't been expecting that.
[ Sitting silently next to Rufus, Tseng thinks about what he's said, how what took place was a business decision, and he doesn't know how to feel about all of it. This certainly wasn't what he expected when he found those rings this morning. Part of him wishes he had not found them, or that he would've just ignored their presence and left it alone to avoid this conversation.
He wishes he'd have just let Rufus keep these secrets from him a while longer. ]
What was your intention with these rings? [ He gently rubs his thumb across Rufus's hand ] What do we do going forward here?
I was intending to give you one and tell a bad joke about how if I get kidnapped again you would be able to find me.
[He gives a slight smile before looking down at their hands for a moment. Rufus never thought that he would ever be in a position like this, he never had intended to wear a ring in the future since he thought it would be just a waste of time and money to get one.
But here was different and there was no going back now that Tseng had found the rings.]
I honestly don't know. I suppose we can do whatever we want to.
Do you want these rings to mean more than a simple tracking device?
[ It is so difficult for Tseng to be a part of this discussion, wanting nothing more than to escape and act like none of this has happened. He's having to deal with feelings and emotions he has been avoiding for quite some time now, but he knows the truth. He knows he's felt this way toward Rufus for years at this point, thinking he likely fell in love at some point during Rufus's time in Junon.
He looks over at Rufus, taking his attention away from their hands and turning it on his face.
When Rufus doesn't immediately respond, Tseng continues talking. ]
You know I love you, too, don't you? [ He's quiet for a moment ] I've been by your side for years as far more than a bodyguard.
[ But he leaves it at that because he's said far more than he was ready to say or even admit to himself. ]
[Rufus reaches up with his other hand to touch Tseng's cheek, not hiding the emotions on his face. He normally isn't so open, he wouldn't have dared, but with Tseng, he knows he could show how he was truly feeling without fear.]
I know how much you love me and have stayed by my side through even the worst things. And I love you more than I ever thought I was capable of.
[Rufus had closed himself off to such things but Tseng had changed all that before he realized what was happening. One day he had looked over at Tseng and at that moment he knew without a doubt.
And that's what gives him the courage to say the next thing.]
Yes, I would wear the ring as more than just a tracking device.
[ Tseng takes Rufus's hand from his cheek and kisses the back of it across his knuckles before threading their fingers together. Just hearing Rufus say those words is overwhelming for Tseng - he didn't think he'd ever hear anybody say they loved him, especially Rufus. Love was never a word that had been a part of either of their vocabularies... At least, until now. ]
I never envisioned myself in a long term relationship.
[ He reaches for the small bag on the coffee table, opening it up and emptying the two rings into the palm of his hand. They're beautiful rings, he thinks, the stone on one of them matching the sapphire earrings Rufus gave him two years ago.
Tseng finally pulls his attention away from the rings, looking back up at Rufus. ]
And I certainly didn't think anybody would want to be my spouse. [ He pauses, leaning forward to kiss Rufus ] But you, for some reason, saw more in me than just a trained assassin and bodyguard.
[Rufus leans a little closer as he returns the kiss. He had almost expected Tseng to give him the bag, to say that he wasn't ready to take this step, and Rufus wouldn't have blamed him, it was a lot to take in all at once.
But he smiles as Tseng takes the rings out, unable to stop himself. Despite the circumstances, this is still better than the 'proposal' he and Tseng had over paperwork that was more business than emotion.]
You saw me as the entitled spoiled, impulsive brat that I was when we first met.
[Rufus smiles, laughing softly. Looking back, he can recognize that he had allowed himself to become so twisted with bitterness towards his father that he had made terrible decisions that had nearly cost him everything.
He was truly fortunate.]
But you also saw what I could be. I wasn't a pathetic failure to you even at my lowest, you never thought I was lacking. You never looked at me as if I wasn't enough.
[Like how his father would always look at him. Like Rufus wasn't even worth getting angry or upset over because he would always be lacking and there was never anything he could do about it.
But despite all that, he saw how Tseng looked at him as if Rufus was the most important thing in the world, someone who was worthy.]
[ When they first met, Tseng couldn't stand Rufus - he was everything a stereotypical spoiled rich boy could have been. But, over the years as they grew up together, Tseng got to know him, and what started out as a way to blow off steam turned in to so much more. Rufus knew everything about him and he knew everything about Rufus, but one thing he had kept from Rufus was how much he truly cared for him.
And, now, that was all out in the open and Tseng is forced to confront his own feelings and Rufus's feelings toward him. It's a conversation he avoided, but knows he could have easily had for the past two years, at the very least. ]
You've always been enough.
[ He takes the rings and puts them back on the table, not quite ready to ask Rufus if he'll actually wear them, if they'll be a symbol of something more between them. It's a huge step, but if Rufus were to ask, he knows he'd agree to it, even though he never saw himself doing this sort of thing back home. ]
I owe my life to you, Rufus. I wouldn't be sitting here today without you.
[No matter how many times Tseng had said it just hearing the words you've always been enough, to know that Tseng never thought that he was lacking in some way, it never failed to make Rufus love him even more.]
And I wouldn't be here without you either.
[Since the first day they met Rufus couldn't imagine his life without Tseng. Even when he had tried to shove Tseng away, Rufus didn't want a life without the other man.
He reaches over to pick up the rings when Tseng sets them down. The first time it had been Tseng to suggest that they get married in order to make the process of making Rufus's will and managing his assets after death easier and Rufus had agreed since it made sense from a business standpoint.
But it didn't need to be a practical, logical reason now. Rufus puts the rings on the palm of his hand, holding them out for Tseng.]
I know you haven't lived through the years that I have. You are in a different place but you're still Tseng, you're still the man I love and I trust.
[He looks down at the rings thoughtfully before offering the one with the blue stone to Tseng.]
If this ring meant something more than just something practical, would you wear it?
[ Tseng looks down at the ring being offered to him, not immediately taking it. He's hesitant, as this is such a huge step for him, for both of them. He never considered marrying anybody, but if he were to marry somebody, it would be Rufus. There's nobody else Tseng wants to spend his life with. He's been by Rufus's side for years, first as a Turk, then as a lover, and his feelings have only grown over the years. ]
Aren't you supposed to get down on one knee when you propose to somebody? Simply offering me the ring as we sit here on the sofa is hardly romantic.
[ But Tseng takes the ring, slipping it on to his own finger. He takes a moment to look at his hand with the ring on it. He hasn't had his gloves on since he took them off the night of his arrival in Nippon. This is different, having a piece of jewelry on his finger like this, but not unwelcome.
He leans forward, pulling Rufus in for a kiss. When he pulls away, he takes the other ring from Rufus's hand. After a deep breath, he works up the courage and takes Rufus's hand, sliding the ring on to his finger. It looks perfect, like it was meant to be there, and it brings a small smile to Tseng's face. ]
Sitting on the couch holding rings has to be one of the most romantic things we've ever done, really.
[He can't help but smile as Tseng puts the ring on after a moment. He lets out the breath he didn't know he had been holding while Tseng had hesitated.
Rufus never thought he would be the type to be carried away by the sentimentality of wearing rings, of needing to put their relationship into words with a definition. It was one thing when it was an unspoken arrangement between them even though they had known how they felt for such a long time but now it's out in the open, something more solid.
He leans forward a little more as Tseng kisses him, letting it linger for a few moments until he leans back, letting Tseng have a few moments to decide what he wants to do. It's a true commitment, even though this is just between the two of them, but they know how how significant the moment is to each other.
When Tseng slides the ring onto Rufus's finger he is momentarily overwhelmed with emotion. They had been robbed of this the first time while they had been sitting at the table with the attorney directing them to sign where the sticky notes indicated on the documents. They knew why they were doing this but there was no sentimentality, there was only talk of how company assets would be managed, trust funds set up, and Rufus's will being finalized now that Rufus was married.
Rufus smiles at the ring, holding his hand out to inspect it. It felt more natural than he had been expecting and he looks back at Tseng.]
I suppose we should get some champagne to toast with and have a little honeymoon then.
Romance was never really an option for us in Midgar, but I suppose we can indulge here.
[ Leaning forward, Tseng pulls Rufus in for another kiss, tangling his fingers in his hair. For a moment, he thinks this is enough, soft kisses, nothing too special... But then Rufus has a hand on Tseng's lower back and he's pulling him closer. Tseng pulls away from Rufus, a smile on his face that only Rufus has ever seen.
He gets up from where he'd been sitting on the couch, stopping to pull his hair back into a ponytail, before he settles on Rufus's lap, arms wrapped around his neck. Tseng leans down and kisses him again, one hand once again finding itself in Rufus's hair while the other traces circles on his back. ]
I'd love to celebrate with some champagne tonight, but a honeymoon? [ A pause ] I don't know that we need a honeymoon.
We can have our honeymoon here. Champagne, spend the weekend in bed just us.
[Rufus watches Tseng put his hair into a ponytail, pulling Tseng close as soon as he sits down with him again. The way Tseng rubs his back in small circles is so familiar, something Tseng has always done that never fails to make Rufus want more.]
I think we deserve a honeymoon this time, especially since we would never be able to do it anywhere else.
[The last 'honeymoon' they had after the lawyer left was Tseng helping Rufus to bed and falling asleep with him. Not precisely very romantic or ideal.
But this was different, this time he wanted to do things right and enjoy the moment.]
[ Gently taking Rufus’s chin, Tseng tilts his face upward for another kiss, content for the time being to sit astride his lap and kiss him like this, like they’ve nothing else to do with their time but enjoy each other. And, he realizes, that they have the rest of their lives (or however long they’re in Nippon) to do just that. They’ve no responsibilities, they’re not President of Shinra and Director of Administrative Research here… They’re just Rufus and Tseng. ]
Perhaps we can take a weekend in Kyoto, then, ask Reno to watch Dark Nation for us while we’re gone.
[ He leans forward again to kiss Rufus, this time pulling at his bottom lip with his teeth before slipping his tongue past it. It’s not their usual routine, Tseng generally preferring to wreck Rufus and Rufus usually wanting just that… But sometimes they shake things up, sometimes Tseng needs it or Rufus wants it.
And this is one of those times, Tseng grinding his hips down against Rufus, feeling his hardening cock beneath him, his own pressing against the pair of sweatpants he’s currently wearing. ]
Why don’t we begin our celebration now, though? [ He pauses to kiss Rufus again ] I want you to fuck me.
[He never thought that they would have the freedom to just go somewhere without having to plan every detail of the trip, arrange security, make sure that no one even came into contact with Rufus. Now they could go out in a crowd and there was no one who gave them a second glance.
It was liberating to be just himself and not have to worry about always keeping that facade he had to in public as president.
Rufus grins as he puts his hands on Tseng's hips when he grinds against him, leaning up to kiss him once more. It's not often Tseng will let Rufus fuck him but each time Rufus loves it even if it's not what he normally prefers.]
There is a bottle of lube behind the cushion to your left, I want you to ride me so I can see you.
[ Before he reaches behind the couch cushion, he's leaning back to look at Rufus... Because he can't believe that Rufus has hidden a bottle of lube in the sofa like they're two horny teenagers. ]
Rufus, why is there a bottle of lube behind the cushion?
[ As he waits for Rufus to answer, Tseng is reaching behind the cushion and, just as Rufus said, there is a bottle of lube hidden in the sofa. He pops the cap open and hands it to him. ]
How am I overdressed when you're still fully clothed? [ Tseng huffs a laugh at Rufus calling him overdressed. ] I'm only wearing sweatpants, however you... I believe you are the one who is a bit overdressed.
[ Taking the hem of Rufus's shirt in his hands, Tseng pulls it over his head and tosses it on the floor behind them, never once taking his eyes off of Rufus. He is slimmer than the last time he saw him like this in Midgar, but Tseng still thinks Rufus is the most beautiful man he's ever laid eyes on and it doesn't matter to him that the man before him isn't exactly how he last saw him in their own world.
He's still his Rufus. ]
If you think I'm overdressed, then do something about it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2022-07-25 04:09 am (UTC)He finally makes the decision to simply pull the bag from his pocket, tossing it on to the coffee table in front of them. ]
Care to explain?
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Date: 2022-07-25 04:16 am (UTC)He wasn't going to put the burden that he had carried in the future on him, it wouldn't have been fair.
But now Tseng knew that this was something that wasn't casual, that Rufus had taken the time to hide this. He hadn't wanted to lie but at the same time, he had wanted to protect Tseng.]
The rings are supposed to be able to locate each wearer- I thought it would be practical to have, just in case.
[And now came the most difficult part, explaining why he had hidden it but he knows that now he can't hold this back even though he wants to spare Tseng certain things. He doesn't look away from Tseng but he doesn't reach for his hand as much as he wants to.]
I wasn't sure how to give it to you.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-25 05:32 am (UTC)Rufus, do you actually think I believe that?
[ He finally takes his eyes off of the rings and looks at Rufus. ]
Why hide them if they're simply something you think is practical to have?
no subject
Date: 2022-07-25 06:03 am (UTC)Because I know you, even if I told you how practical the rings are you would be bound to ask certain questions about the future but I hoped with time I could figure out how to avoid that.
[This time he has to look away from Tseng for a moment to gather his thoughts, knowing Tseng can see right through him and knows him better than even he knows himself sometimes.
There are more emotions than he could possibly explain to Tseng that he's still working through, that he hasn't had a chance to start to think about but even though he knew that the rings were practical, he knew it was difficult to convince himself of that.
He looks at Tseng finally, his expression sad and regretful.]
I'm sure you can guess what I wanted to avoid telling you, I didn't want you to feel bound by what we did in the future.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-26 04:11 am (UTC)There's a lot to take in from what Rufus just said, a lot of implications that Tseng doesn't know if he's ready for. But it looks like he doesn't really have a choice. If they don't talk about this now, it's just putting it off for another day. Nothing is going to change how he feels about Rufus, nothing is going to take away the things they've experienced together and will experience together.
He doesn't move to take Rufus's hand, though. ]
Were we-- [ He pauses, frowning slightly ] Were we married?
[ Finally lifting his head, Tseng looks up at Rufus ]
Why did you not say anything that first night after I arrived?
no subject
Date: 2022-07-26 04:40 am (UTC)[There is no denying it. It hadn't really been a joyous occasion to celebrate but circumstances meant that they had to be practical. He hadn't allowed himself to get too sentimental when Tseng had made the suggestion at the time, they had a lot to get through with making arrangements and there was always so little time.
Rufus frowns slightly, reaching out to idly scratch behind Dark Nation's ears when she sat between them.]
I put a lot on you that night. We got married only for legal purposes as it made things easier when it came to my will and other arrangements. You called the company lawyer, we signed the paperwork, and that was it.
[It wasn't a lie. While Tseng showed the lawyer out Rufus had fallen asleep since he had been exhausted so they had never even celebrated.
And then there were more important things Rufus had to finish in the little time he had left, he had put aside any personal business so that he could focus on what he needed to do.]
no subject
Date: 2022-07-26 05:11 am (UTC)[ Tseng pauses, taking a breath and slowly exhaling, when he finally reaches for Rufus's hand.
This is, once again, overwhelming for Tseng. He cares for Rufus, that much is clear, but he never realized that what he may feel toward Rufus is love. He never had time to think about that sort of thing, always at work for Shinra, never letting himself think too much into how he felt and why he felt that way.
At the same time, though, Tseng doesn't think that he's ever felt love toward another person, so he's not entirely sure what that looks like. He knows that, were anything to happen to Rufus, he would be devastated. Sure, it's his job to protect him. He's Rufus's bodyguard... but their relationship is much more than that. ]
You told me you loved me as you were falling asleep. And I know it wasn't an accident. You don't say those things lightly, even if you're nearly asleep. [ A pause ] The marriage meant more to the both of us than simply a legality, did it not?
no subject
Date: 2022-07-26 05:38 am (UTC)He freezes when Tseng speaks, not sure what to say for a few minutes because Tseng is right. He had told himself that he was not someone to get ridiculously sentimental over marriage or anything like that but he remembers when he had been signing the documents with the lawyer, how he had reached under the table to touch Tseng's hand as he slowly signed the document.
But that was all that he allowed himself at the time. Even though he felt more than just signing the documents, he knew that Tseng had felt the same way even if they weren't sure how to put it into words.
Rufus still hadn't fully processed those feelings yet which is why he had hidden the rings but now he can't avoid it and he has to sort these strange emotions out even if it's uncomfortable.]
It did but we never had the chance to even acknowledge that.
[He laces their fingers, looking down at them.]
I didn't think it would be anything beyond just signing the paperwork, it was a business decision. But when I put the pen to paper it did and I hadn't been expecting that.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-27 05:43 am (UTC)He wishes he'd have just let Rufus keep these secrets from him a while longer. ]
What was your intention with these rings? [ He gently rubs his thumb across Rufus's hand ] What do we do going forward here?
no subject
Date: 2022-07-27 05:57 am (UTC)[He gives a slight smile before looking down at their hands for a moment. Rufus never thought that he would ever be in a position like this, he never had intended to wear a ring in the future since he thought it would be just a waste of time and money to get one.
But here was different and there was no going back now that Tseng had found the rings.]
I honestly don't know. I suppose we can do whatever we want to.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-29 05:33 am (UTC)[ It is so difficult for Tseng to be a part of this discussion, wanting nothing more than to escape and act like none of this has happened. He's having to deal with feelings and emotions he has been avoiding for quite some time now, but he knows the truth. He knows he's felt this way toward Rufus for years at this point, thinking he likely fell in love at some point during Rufus's time in Junon.
He looks over at Rufus, taking his attention away from their hands and turning it on his face.
When Rufus doesn't immediately respond, Tseng continues talking. ]
You know I love you, too, don't you? [ He's quiet for a moment ] I've been by your side for years as far more than a bodyguard.
[ But he leaves it at that because he's said far more than he was ready to say or even admit to himself. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-07-29 06:21 am (UTC)[Rufus reaches up with his other hand to touch Tseng's cheek, not hiding the emotions on his face. He normally isn't so open, he wouldn't have dared, but with Tseng, he knows he could show how he was truly feeling without fear.]
I know how much you love me and have stayed by my side through even the worst things. And I love you more than I ever thought I was capable of.
[Rufus had closed himself off to such things but Tseng had changed all that before he realized what was happening. One day he had looked over at Tseng and at that moment he knew without a doubt.
And that's what gives him the courage to say the next thing.]
Yes, I would wear the ring as more than just a tracking device.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-30 07:39 am (UTC)I never envisioned myself in a long term relationship.
[ He reaches for the small bag on the coffee table, opening it up and emptying the two rings into the palm of his hand. They're beautiful rings, he thinks, the stone on one of them matching the sapphire earrings Rufus gave him two years ago.
Tseng finally pulls his attention away from the rings, looking back up at Rufus. ]
And I certainly didn't think anybody would want to be my spouse. [ He pauses, leaning forward to kiss Rufus ] But you, for some reason, saw more in me than just a trained assassin and bodyguard.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-30 08:31 am (UTC)But he smiles as Tseng takes the rings out, unable to stop himself. Despite the circumstances, this is still better than the 'proposal' he and Tseng had over paperwork that was more business than emotion.]
You saw me as the entitled spoiled, impulsive brat that I was when we first met.
[Rufus smiles, laughing softly. Looking back, he can recognize that he had allowed himself to become so twisted with bitterness towards his father that he had made terrible decisions that had nearly cost him everything.
He was truly fortunate.]
But you also saw what I could be. I wasn't a pathetic failure to you even at my lowest, you never thought I was lacking. You never looked at me as if I wasn't enough.
[Like how his father would always look at him. Like Rufus wasn't even worth getting angry or upset over because he would always be lacking and there was never anything he could do about it.
But despite all that, he saw how Tseng looked at him as if Rufus was the most important thing in the world, someone who was worthy.]
no subject
Date: 2022-07-31 12:04 am (UTC)And, now, that was all out in the open and Tseng is forced to confront his own feelings and Rufus's feelings toward him. It's a conversation he avoided, but knows he could have easily had for the past two years, at the very least. ]
You've always been enough.
[ He takes the rings and puts them back on the table, not quite ready to ask Rufus if he'll actually wear them, if they'll be a symbol of something more between them. It's a huge step, but if Rufus were to ask, he knows he'd agree to it, even though he never saw himself doing this sort of thing back home. ]
I owe my life to you, Rufus. I wouldn't be sitting here today without you.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-31 01:48 am (UTC)And I wouldn't be here without you either.
[Since the first day they met Rufus couldn't imagine his life without Tseng. Even when he had tried to shove Tseng away, Rufus didn't want a life without the other man.
He reaches over to pick up the rings when Tseng sets them down. The first time it had been Tseng to suggest that they get married in order to make the process of making Rufus's will and managing his assets after death easier and Rufus had agreed since it made sense from a business standpoint.
But it didn't need to be a practical, logical reason now. Rufus puts the rings on the palm of his hand, holding them out for Tseng.]
I know you haven't lived through the years that I have. You are in a different place but you're still Tseng, you're still the man I love and I trust.
[He looks down at the rings thoughtfully before offering the one with the blue stone to Tseng.]
If this ring meant something more than just something practical, would you wear it?
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Date: 2022-07-31 06:57 am (UTC)[ Tseng looks down at the ring being offered to him, not immediately taking it. He's hesitant, as this is such a huge step for him, for both of them. He never considered marrying anybody, but if he were to marry somebody, it would be Rufus. There's nobody else Tseng wants to spend his life with. He's been by Rufus's side for years, first as a Turk, then as a lover, and his feelings have only grown over the years. ]
Aren't you supposed to get down on one knee when you propose to somebody? Simply offering me the ring as we sit here on the sofa is hardly romantic.
[ But Tseng takes the ring, slipping it on to his own finger. He takes a moment to look at his hand with the ring on it. He hasn't had his gloves on since he took them off the night of his arrival in Nippon. This is different, having a piece of jewelry on his finger like this, but not unwelcome.
He leans forward, pulling Rufus in for a kiss. When he pulls away, he takes the other ring from Rufus's hand. After a deep breath, he works up the courage and takes Rufus's hand, sliding the ring on to his finger. It looks perfect, like it was meant to be there, and it brings a small smile to Tseng's face. ]
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Date: 2022-07-31 09:45 am (UTC)[He can't help but smile as Tseng puts the ring on after a moment. He lets out the breath he didn't know he had been holding while Tseng had hesitated.
Rufus never thought he would be the type to be carried away by the sentimentality of wearing rings, of needing to put their relationship into words with a definition. It was one thing when it was an unspoken arrangement between them even though they had known how they felt for such a long time but now it's out in the open, something more solid.
He leans forward a little more as Tseng kisses him, letting it linger for a few moments until he leans back, letting Tseng have a few moments to decide what he wants to do. It's a true commitment, even though this is just between the two of them, but they know how how significant the moment is to each other.
When Tseng slides the ring onto Rufus's finger he is momentarily overwhelmed with emotion. They had been robbed of this the first time while they had been sitting at the table with the attorney directing them to sign where the sticky notes indicated on the documents. They knew why they were doing this but there was no sentimentality, there was only talk of how company assets would be managed, trust funds set up, and Rufus's will being finalized now that Rufus was married.
Rufus smiles at the ring, holding his hand out to inspect it. It felt more natural than he had been expecting and he looks back at Tseng.]
I suppose we should get some champagne to toast with and have a little honeymoon then.
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Date: 2022-08-01 05:10 am (UTC)[ Leaning forward, Tseng pulls Rufus in for another kiss, tangling his fingers in his hair. For a moment, he thinks this is enough, soft kisses, nothing too special... But then Rufus has a hand on Tseng's lower back and he's pulling him closer. Tseng pulls away from Rufus, a smile on his face that only Rufus has ever seen.
He gets up from where he'd been sitting on the couch, stopping to pull his hair back into a ponytail, before he settles on Rufus's lap, arms wrapped around his neck. Tseng leans down and kisses him again, one hand once again finding itself in Rufus's hair while the other traces circles on his back. ]
I'd love to celebrate with some champagne tonight, but a honeymoon? [ A pause ] I don't know that we need a honeymoon.
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Date: 2022-08-01 05:19 am (UTC)[Rufus watches Tseng put his hair into a ponytail, pulling Tseng close as soon as he sits down with him again. The way Tseng rubs his back in small circles is so familiar, something Tseng has always done that never fails to make Rufus want more.]
I think we deserve a honeymoon this time, especially since we would never be able to do it anywhere else.
[The last 'honeymoon' they had after the lawyer left was Tseng helping Rufus to bed and falling asleep with him. Not precisely very romantic or ideal.
But this was different, this time he wanted to do things right and enjoy the moment.]
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Date: 2022-08-01 05:18 pm (UTC)Perhaps we can take a weekend in Kyoto, then, ask Reno to watch Dark Nation for us while we’re gone.
[ He leans forward again to kiss Rufus, this time pulling at his bottom lip with his teeth before slipping his tongue past it. It’s not their usual routine, Tseng generally preferring to wreck Rufus and Rufus usually wanting just that… But sometimes they shake things up, sometimes Tseng needs it or Rufus wants it.
And this is one of those times, Tseng grinding his hips down against Rufus, feeling his hardening cock beneath him, his own pressing against the pair of sweatpants he’s currently wearing. ]
Why don’t we begin our celebration now, though? [ He pauses to kiss Rufus again ] I want you to fuck me.
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Date: 2022-08-13 04:56 am (UTC)[He never thought that they would have the freedom to just go somewhere without having to plan every detail of the trip, arrange security, make sure that no one even came into contact with Rufus. Now they could go out in a crowd and there was no one who gave them a second glance.
It was liberating to be just himself and not have to worry about always keeping that facade he had to in public as president.
Rufus grins as he puts his hands on Tseng's hips when he grinds against him, leaning up to kiss him once more. It's not often Tseng will let Rufus fuck him but each time Rufus loves it even if it's not what he normally prefers.]
There is a bottle of lube behind the cushion to your left, I want you to ride me so I can see you.
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Date: 2022-08-15 01:13 am (UTC)Rufus, why is there a bottle of lube behind the cushion?
[ As he waits for Rufus to answer, Tseng is reaching behind the cushion and, just as Rufus said, there is a bottle of lube hidden in the sofa. He pops the cap open and hands it to him. ]
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Date: 2022-08-16 08:01 am (UTC)[Rufus is pleased with himself, he knew that there was a reason he hid bottles around the house and it turned out it had been the best decision.
If this was going to be their home then there was no reason why they couldn't enjoy it however they liked.
He takes the bottle, uncapping it as he looks at Tseng.]
Something I'm sure you can appreciate now. But now, you're a bit overdressed, I think.
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Date: 2022-08-24 04:34 am (UTC)[ Taking the hem of Rufus's shirt in his hands, Tseng pulls it over his head and tosses it on the floor behind them, never once taking his eyes off of Rufus. He is slimmer than the last time he saw him like this in Midgar, but Tseng still thinks Rufus is the most beautiful man he's ever laid eyes on and it doesn't matter to him that the man before him isn't exactly how he last saw him in their own world.
He's still his Rufus. ]
If you think I'm overdressed, then do something about it.
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